“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
—— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I used to keep trying harder, as if disappointment was a problem I could solve through effort: better communication, more patience, clearer expectations. Sometimes that works. But sometimes a person genuinely cannot give you what you’re asking for, and staying in the hoping is its own slow damage.
Learning to want less from certain people, not out of bitterness, but out of accuracy, is one of the quieter forms of self-care I’ve found. You’re not giving up on them. You’re just updating your understanding of who they are. That’s not cold. That’s honest.
Not everyone who loves you knows how to love you in the way you need.