“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human
I had a realization sometime last year that I was maintaining a number of friendships almost entirely out of history and habit. People I’d known a long time, liked well enough, but didn’t actually look forward to seeing. The effort of keeping those connections warm was quietly draining energy from the ones I actually cared about.
I let some of them fade. Not dramatically, just by not being the one to reach out every time. What’s left is a smaller circle that I’m genuinely glad to be in. I used to think loyalty meant maintaining every relationship indefinitely. Now I think it means being fully present for the ones that actually feed you.
A smaller circle you’re truly in is worth more than a wide one you’re only performing.